So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
