if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
