I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
