dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize