im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
