But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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