You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
