there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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