fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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