Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
