you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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