Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
