Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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