Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
