Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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