Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Are my feet made of real feet?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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