had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize