Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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