The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
