Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
