i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
