OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
