Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
