I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
