Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
