I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
