it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
