I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
