She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
