My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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