His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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