I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize