with your own penis?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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