her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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