Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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