Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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