Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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