and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
