I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
