how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
