I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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