You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
