Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize