just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
