next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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