no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
