I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize