How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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