i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
