I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
