I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize