i permit you to call me
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
