stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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