i permit you to call me
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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