What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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