Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
porn star boner night. come get it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
we should paint friendship bongs
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