I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
