I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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