one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
