That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
