Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She's the barista slut.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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