ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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