Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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