I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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