Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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