I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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